The Divorce Glow-Up

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There’s a viral TikTok trend in which women post images of themselves before and after their relationships end and call it a “divorce glow-up.” Their point is that after their separation, they are fitter, have better skin and have upgraded their wardrobe.

Translation: divorce can be good for you. After all, it was for them. And since almost every online influencer leverages their experience as their authority, credibility and credentials, it’s affecting sensibilities—even leading some women to throw divorce parties to mark the occasion. Lindsey Norris, 37, posted videos of her divorce party on TikTok. She owns a T-shirt business in Georgia, and her friends sported shirts with quippy lines like “I offered to key his car” and “I should have lied about being ordained.”

“The look in my eyes tells the whole story,” one TikTok user, actress Michelle Calloway, wrote in her divorce glow-up post. As reported in USA Today, she posted her “glow-up” about a year ago. “This wasn't just a visual transformation; it was an emotional, spiritual and energetic healing process as well.”

Well, maybe not spiritual. 

There are certainly biblical grounds for divorce, but the trend on TikTok is not about the painful but sometimes necessary release from an adulterous or abusive relationship. It feels more akin to the trivialization of the marriage vows and the celebration of their ending in highly narcissistic ways. It sends the message that divorce is better than staying married, almost no matter what state the marriage is in, because it results in a better “you.”

In our day, marriage has become a social construct and, as such, something we can define for ourselves by voting on one definition or another. It’s become a legal matter, a tax issue, a question for courts to manage—who gets benefits, who gets recognized, what gets accepted. Or, in the case of the “glow-up” trend, something that either happens to serve you or doesn’t. But when we bracket off marriage as a legal term and talk about marriage as a biblical idea, then we move from marriage to holy matrimony.

There are four foundational truths the Bible teaches about marriage. 

The first is that marriage is the first and most foundational of all institutions (Gen. 2:21-24). Marriage was ordained by God and set apart by God – before children, before the family, before government, even before the church – at the very onset of creation.

Second, marriage best describes and depicts the supernatural union between Jesus and the Church. We were created to be in relationship with Him, and He’s done everything He can to reach out. When somebody comes to Christ, what could possibly be holy enough, special enough, sacred enough, honored enough, to capture the love dynamic between Christ and those who have come to Him as Leader and Forgiver, Savior and Lord? What could describe the love that compelled Him to die for us, and the love that leads us to repent and return to Him? Only marriage (Eph. 5:23-32). Just as the two become one through earthly marriage, we become one with Christ through a spiritual, eternal marriage.

A third truth about marriage in the Bible is that marriage is the event that God has selected to consummate all of time (Rev. 19:1-7). At the end of all time, when the final chapter of this life is closed and the first chapter of eternity is opened, at the grand moment when those in Christ are united with Christ to enter heaven, it will not be done through a coronation. It will not be done through a graduation. It will not be done by an installation, inauguration or initiation. It will be done through a wedding.

The final truth about marriage flows from the first three—that marriage is to be held in the highest honor (Heb. 13:4).

Ending it, then, is no cause for a “glow-up.” It’s a cause for mourning. A more accurate reaction to divorce came from Alex Farrington. “I couldn't get out of bed, I was so depressed. I was struggling so much. My life was in ruins,” Farrington, 33, told USA Today.

But online, all she saw were videos of “divorce glow-ups” and women sharing lists of “red flags” they had ignored in their past relationships. Most of these people, she found, said they breezed through the grieving phase in a couple of months and felt so much lighter and freer after their divorce.

Two years after her split with her ex, Farrington still doesn’t feel that way. “Sometimes women aren’t better off after divorce,” she captioned a recent TikTok post. “My life is infinitely worse,” Farrington said in the video, posted in July.

There’s a simple statement in the Bible that captures God’s feelings about divorce. Through the prophet Malachi, He declared, “I hate divorce” (Mal. 2:16, NIV). Even biblical divorces are painful concessions to sin so severe that few, if any, marriages could withstand its onslaught. Or were meant to. So God hates even those, though allowed, and the one forced to divorce is not held to blame.

So perhaps hold off on liking the “glow-up” post you view, and maybe skip out on the next divorce party you are invited to attend.

And I won’t ever wish I lied about being ordained.

Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/CharlotaBlunarova

Sources

 Madeline Mitchell, “Women Are Posting 'Divorce Glow-Ups' Online. Experts Say They're onto Something,” USA Today, June 30, 2026, read online.

 Madeline Mitchell, “She Saw 'Divorce Glow-Up' Videos but Couldn't Relate. So She Tried Something Else,” USA Today, August 11, 2026, read online.

The views expressed in this commentary do not necessarily reflect those of CrosswalkHeadlines.

James Emery White is the founding and senior pastor of Mecklenburg Community Church in Charlotte, NC, and a former professor of theology and culture at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, where he also served as their fourth president. His latest book, Hybrid Church: Rethinking the Church for a Post-Christian Digital Age, is now available on Amazon or from your favorite bookseller. To enjoy a free subscription to the Church & Culture blog, visit churchandculture.org where you can view past blogs in our archive, read the latest church and culture news from around the world, and listen to the Church & Culture Podcast. Follow Dr. White on X, Facebook and Instagram at @JamesEmeryWhite.