By Cally Logan, Crosswalk.com
As women, it is an unfortunate snare that we fall into lies others place upon us in our own lives. There is a lie many of us believe behind closed doors that someone else would be better suited or equipped for the careers and callings we pursue. We must stop believing these lies and thwarting the potential of all we were meant, called, and potentially can do.
1. You're Too Much
One of the lies women often believe stems from being told that they are too much. This may be in the way of being too ambitious, too energetic, too over the top, the list goes on and on. Instead of instantly condemning yourself and believing you are too much, take a moment to consider that you may be presenting your qualities to the wrong people. You may be giving too much voice to those who were never meant to be top advisors in your life. Consider how you are giving a voice to someone who can only handle a side of fries, and you have a super-sized meal to offer. Don’t lessen yourself to get on the level of others; find a new audience.
2. You're Not Enough
In contrast, but in a similar vein, there is the lie that you are not enough. This could come forward in the way of not feeling smart enough, not talented enough, not good enough, etc. Consider that they may be using scales and measures that are not an appropriately correct assessment. Einstein once said, “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
What he was getting at is that we are all such different creatures, and if we place a mark of being enough, the mark of worth on all things at the same measure, it is not a correct or fair evaluation. That is true for you as well. This is where it is vital to appreciate, celebrate, and conclude aspects of yourself and others based upon the gauge of oneself. Well done if you are doing better than you were a year ago. If you are doing poorly compared to how you were a year ago, what do you need to help you along the way? Is it rest? Is it a kind ear to listen? Is it therapy or rehabilitation for part of your heart and mind? It’s not that you are not enough; it’s that you need something you don’t have to help you reach the potential of all you can be compared to your own self.
3. Your Voice Doesn't Matter
The belief that your voice doesn’t matter or is less important than another can suffocate the potential of all you have to say in this world. You offer a unique perspective no one else but you can bring to the table. Your voice does matter; in fact, the world needs your one-of-a-kind voice in matters in this world. Do not let the opinions of others who seek to stifle your fire snuff out all that you have to say because your words can change things.
4. Bully in the Mirror
As women, often the biggest bully in our lives is not society’s standards, co-workers, or even a judgmental Aunt, but the person staring back at you in the mirror. The concept you hold of yourself will reveal itself to others in your confidence and other subtle ways. As much as we think self-esteem and self-concept are aspects, we can hide within the lockets of our hearts that we aren’t fooling anyone. From your walking stride to your very demeanor, it’s evident not just to you how you view yourself by the way you carry yourself. That is not said to somehow place the perceptions and collecting thoughts of others at a high mark, but it is to say that it is an example you set. Recognizing that the bully within you is a large shadow of the inner root of the fear of all that you lack, all that you fail at, and all that you fear in rebuke from others shifts your view of the bully. That bully is not really the genuine “you” but rather the Frankenstein collection of every opinion, judgment, or prejudice you’ve seen another extend upon you or someone you have witnessed.
You can let that bully remain a loud, obnoxious voice or shut it down. This doesn’t mean you will suddenly perform and interact in the world perfectly, and it does not mean others won’t continue to act as they always have, but it does mean that you no longer reject yourself for what you do or what you might potentially do. It means you extend the same kindness, grace, and encouragement within that you offer to others.
5. You Are an Imposter
The belief that you are an imposter is soul-crushing. It is the hidden-in-heart belief that you are a faker, a poser, or a fraud in the calling you live out. This is not an easy lie to break an agreement with, but it starts with approaching all that you live out in such a way that there is nothing but potential. You are in this position now, and all that remains is the great potential that you can either hinder or wholly live out with all you’ve got. Breaking an agreement with the Imposter Syndrome lies also requires a deeper form of self-love, self-acceptance, and self-esteem building so that you no longer see yourself as less than, but as someone seeking every day to live out all that is possible within yourself. The cure for Imposter Syndrome is self-worth.
Such a Time as This
When you shed light upon these lies, you are left with the truth that you are on this planet for such a time as this. Of all the periods you could have lived, God saw it fit that you would be alive for this very time. Keeping that in mind, partner with God and ask Him why He placed you on the earth during this time and how you can break the lies that seek to thwart all that you were really meant to do for such a time as this.