Date Night Debacle - I Do Every Day - January 23, 2020



Date night debacle

By Sabrina McDonald

Going on a date with my husband was the last thing I wanted to do. From the moment he entered the door, he was a bear, stomping and roaring. The kids were in tears. I was ticked. Even the dog was hiding. But the date was scheduled, and the sitter was coming.

I had already begun the silent treatment in front of the bathroom mirror.

He asked me what I was wearing.

“Clothes.” 

“Where do you want to go for dinner?”

“I don’t care.”

I grumbled about our decision to do weekly date nights. With pursed lips and eyes rolling, I begrudgingly agreed to sushi.

After a silent ride, we were seated in a cozy spot with soft lighting and piano music. Across the table, my husband’s bright green eyes gazed at me. His smile was so handsome. He made a joke. My countenance softened. He apologized for his attitude and explained his stressful day. 

I melted, and my plans for verbal revenge dissolved into reminders of why I loved this man: He was funny, interesting, and had a good heart.

Then I was glad we had a preplanned date night.

Once we got away from yelling kids, chaos, and stress, we could focus. Get back on the same page. All we needed was a change of atmosphere. Without that, revenge rumination would have spoiled the next three days. Not a good marriage strategy. Not a good Christian strategy either. You know, with forgiveness and all that …

What’s the moral of the story? Put preplanned date nights on your calendar. We pick a generally free night (Fridays for us) and jealously guard it. Our sitter is preplanned, too, so we don’t have an excuse.

Don’t think expensive. Sometimes we grab a burger and go window shopping. Or maybe twice a month is better for you. Budget in a little money or trade babysitting with friends.

The point is to spend regular, uninterrupted time together. Date night provides the space for that.

Parenting got you in a romantic rut? Read more on staying connected through the busy parenting years. 

The good stuff: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, but I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31-32

Action points: Get out your calendar and decide on a relatively free day of the week you can use for dates. Put feelers out for babysitters. Use social media to ask if anyone has a teenage daughter who is looking to make some extra money. Or talk to another couple about the possibility of trading babysitting. Surprise your spouse with tickets to an upcoming event for your first official date night. Or for cheap, make homemade tickets for ice cream treats after dinner.  

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